Sunday, January 18, 2009

Before I started this blog, I had blogged on my myspace page until I deleted my account. I saved all my posts and this is one that I started as a funny series to help lighten the frustrating mothering moments. So I am re-posting this blog for those who had not been able to read it before.
What Older, More Wiser Parents
Should Have Told Us More Younger, Naive Parents!
Volume 1 of 101
* Children don't come with a sense of modesty:
Example 1: When my daughter takes off her swimming suit on the front sidewalk because she decides she is done swimming. My little streaker!
Example 2: My son, then four, pulls his pants down and asks me, "Do you have one of these?"
* Start taking out a loan for the ice cream truck before you even have kids.
Example: At any and all musical sounds my kids immediately assume it's the ice cream truck so screams break forth as well as running for their piggy banks...only to find pennies. Then they take off for my purse...only to find pennies. "Do you take visa?"
* Juggling skills are required!
Example: As I start walking into Walmart I have my purse, diaper bag, baby carrier and my toddler's hand. As I'm walking out of Walmart I have my purse, diaper bag (which both annoyingly slide down my arm) baby carrier, my toddler's hand, a cart full of groceries, my daughter's blankie wrapped around my neck, car keys in my teeth and three sucker wrappers stuffed in my fist!
* Muscles are suggested but not required because they will be gained.
Example 1: Lifting a double stroller and stuffing it in the trunk.
Example 2: When all my kids ask to do the airplane.
Example 3: I'm going for a walk, pushing the double stroller and we start for home. My daughter says she's tired of riding on her tricycle so now I'm pushing three children in the stroller with one arm and half bent over pulling the tricycle with the other arm the rest of the way home.
* Drawing skills
Example: "Mom, can you draw me a horse?"
* "Do you have to go potty?"
Under no circumstance must you take "no" for an answer.
Example 1: Ten minutes on our way home from Columbus, "I have to go potty!"
Example 2: Five minutes after getting to the park, "I have to go potty!"
Example 3: As soon as you get your food at a restaurant, "I have to go potty!"

1 comment:

Andrea said...

That was too funny!